It's time to declare an emergency in the Channel, says Farage

Nigel Farage, deprived of his radio gig by the demonic forces of the Left, has taken to plastering images of dinghies all over Twitter. These show an immigrant invasion on a par with, well, the last such invasion Nige dreamed about.

"In the face of the kind of unwarranted abuse to which I have become accustomed," says St Nigel the martyr, it's time to go with the Australian method of putting brown people on an island and denying them medical help (I paraphrase). Given the only suitable island we have is the Isle Of Wight, Farage might find his natural constituency a little miffed.

Still, read on for the wit and wisdom of the great statesman. Or check out the rather more truthful Don't be fooled by the myth of a 'migrant invasion' by Daniel Trilling.

Also read the story of Zhena by Cole Moreton.

Panic over rising Covid-19 case numbers is as irrational as it is dangerous says Ross Clark

The Telegraph's Ross Clark explains why testing for coronavirus is a waste of time (citing Donald Trump, that well-known expert) and why it's hospital deaths that matter (he seems to recognise no other, which might surprise relatives of 25,000 care home dead).

Ross's piece might have worked better if he'd just surrendered to his inner demons and said, "They are weak, let them perish."

If the EU wants a deal the solution is simple: fire Michel Barnier: Matthew Lynn

More reality-defying nonsense from the Telegraph, in which Matthew Lynn explains that it's all the fault of that pesky Frenchman who smells of garlic (I paraphrase). Matthew is the chap whose greatest hits include "It is time to get tough with the anti-business arts elite" and "Wales and Scotland will fall further behind England if they insist on lifting lockdown later."

Here we go with his exceptionalist tripe: