Ladies and gentlemen, please be upstanding for the man who was second choice to Sarah Palin a few years ago, asset stripper and all-round forgetter of facts, Mr Mitt Romney.
Many in the UK, as in other parts of the world, have looked on in astonishment at the made-up fusses over President Obama's birthplace and even his degree certificate. Some of us have been educated in the euphemisms now used in the USA, now that skin colour is supposed to be irrelevant. Land of the free, home of the brave, wetting its pants that one of those darker "free" has seized opportunity and become president.
Since Obama was elected, the proportion of Republicans who believe Obama is Muslim has doubled since 2008 and now stands at almost a third. The drip of Fox venom is insidious and effective.
In the UK we have had recent experience of the man thought capable of ousting this scheming, Communist Kenyan. Not the rubbery stout man with the unlikely hair who has to name his own apartment building after himself, much as my mum used to sew name tags into my mittens. No, it's the unsmiling, unbending, family-loving follower of the sometime polygamous religion Mormonism. Too stupid to be a scientist, Mitt has a BA and a higher degree in business administration (ie nothing substantial). He's just had a quick visit to the UK, stopping only long enough to achieve the unachievable and provoke a David Cameron putdown that we all applauded.
One of his aides let slip the mask though. He said that Romney appreciates the US/UK special relationship more than Obama because he is "part of an Anglo-Saxon heritage".
You mean "white", don't you Mitt. Not Kenyan, or black, or big-dicked maniacal nigger bent on raping white women and returning us to the dark ages. Cos they all do, you know. Not all burning crosses have to be planted on front lawns or thrown into churches, do they Mitt? You don't need a bedsheet around you to show the hate in your heart. That's your problem and your sickness, Mitt - but don't claim any heritage with me. We may share a skin colour but we don't share your two-faced prejudices, your dishonesty or your greed.
See Mitt kowtowing to Israeli fascists (but getting some good money for it). You won't hear him commenting on the rumoured $100 million he could be getting from an Israeli with dubious Chinese gambling connections.
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